The author's satire in this comical piece from The Onion, is subtle and humorous. The author includes high diction by using words like chastising and semiautomatic. The author also uses high diction such as semiautomatic to describe the types of guns that God owns. The author appeals to logic when God says,"Thank goodness it wasn't my AK or my Mossberg 500 Persuader--then there could be some real damage." The author's argument is that God makes mistakes and apparently Heaven owns guns. The author's satirical tone, high diction, and appeal to logic helps him achieve the desired effect of making the audience believe God makes mistakes just like humans, and does so by using the example of shooting Himself while cleaning his gun.